SHAKE RATTLE AND ROLL

That's pretty much what I've been feeling when I purposely work on the Day 17's exercises in Andrew's room and when I'm going to sleep (when I remember). I am getting all the symptoms of an OBE but have yet to have one consciously. I guess it's all about CONSISTENT practice.

I was having a very firm talking to with myself today about being more consistent with the astral travel exercises. I let myself know that I meant it! That I needed to be more consistent! I told myself that I need to commit to doing the exercises EVERYDAY, no excuses, for at least a week to really start seeing some REAL results. I wanted to make threats to myself, but what's the point?

I've been reading the book "Astral Travel for Beginners" and while the "Astral Dynamics" book can do my head in at times, this one is toooooo basic. There's more history in it than real technique. I do find the history fascinating but I'm half way through it and there's no real OBE technique info. Only, get into deep meditation and off you go! Really? That's it? Meditate and off you go? It's funny to see the difference between the 2 books. One is so detailed and scientific and the other so simplified. I have to find somewhere in the middle.

Since I had this little "Come to Jesus" talk today with myself, I'm going to be reading the "Mastering Astral Travel in 90 Days" AND "Astral Dynamics" books EVERYDAY! I don't have to read a crap load of chapters, just enough to keep me motivated. You'd think the reward, seeing my son would be enough, an dyet it is not, WTF?! I really need to follow the exercises more strictly, but I think if I do the meditation part with the sponging action, bouncy ball, breathing, and mind clearing, I should be good to go.

You'd think that spending time with my son would be motivation enough, but I guess I kinda resent how much work it takes just to spend some time with my son now. It shouldn't have to be this must work! I just want to walk into his room and hug him like I use to do. I still haven't wrapped my head around the fact that he isn't on this dimension anymore. The grief process is a brutal one fo sho! I don't know what my problem is. I do know I am so drained on every level from these past 3 years of trauma of nearly losing one child and actually losing the other, so my focus is off. But I gotta decide what do I want more? Spend time with Andrew on the astral plane or just sit around and grieve about him? The first makes more sense, there are so many more benefits from nailing astral travel. SO I gotta just suck it up and do these exercises EVERYDAY for at least a week. Start with a week commitment and go from there is what I figure is doable. That's the plan anyway. Keeping fingers and eyes crossed I stick to it!

IT'S ALL GOOD!